Jen (
wuzzafuzzle) wrote in
amusebox2012-10-31 12:08 am
The "show up naked at your cross canon love interest's hole in the ground" meme [NSFW]
"Show up naked at your cross canon love interest's hole in the ground"
Meme!

> a notice
take: hal will have to consider this suggestion very carefully
jen: yes good :> do tell eric when you've come to a decision
jen: he eagerly awaits your reply
take: well the notice says to respond in person so
take: hal will just show up at your tree/hole in the ground/bar seat/general vicinity butt nakey
jen: ffjdslkjfa yes good this is prefered, hal. good man.
take: "is this what you meant?"
jen: now i want to thread that, take :|
take: ... is there a "show up naked at your cross canon love interest's hole in the ground" meme
jen: if there is not I WILL MAKE ONE X(
✯ How much do I doubt that anyone but me and Take will use this? Spoilers: A lot
✯ In the case you want shameless cross canon nudity, though:
✯ Pretend you got this notice from your cross canon lover, or maybe not lover, maybe someone sent it as a prank, idk.
✯ Thread.

Huntsman | That show with Thor and the girl from Twilight
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He's sent the note as a joke - something amusing for Hal to happen upon between all the boring political documents that might get stacked up on his desk. He hadn't... actually expected him to show up nude as the day he was born on his doorstep.
...And he has a sudden urge to go punch every man in the tavern down below who must have seen him come through. He blinks for a moment or so before venturing to speak. ] Finally lost your bloody mind, have you?
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Surprisingly - or not surprisingly, if one knew Hal as well as any other - the young prince is not flushed or embarrassed in the slightest as he stands in naught but his skin in front of the door. Hand on his hip, and letter in the other, he is ... relatively steady on his feet (okay he had to down a flagon of ale before gathering up the nerve to stroll through the crowded tavern in the nude-- ) but at least when he speaks, his words aren't drunken enough to the point of slurring. ]
I have not. I know exactly where it is.
[ And he holds out the letter, his expression firm. Not a giggle in sight. ] Your note said to respond in person. 'Twould be quite rude of me to ignore such a request.
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Let it not be said the crown is not both prompt and thoughtful when dealing with their people. Sending their very Prince to deal with such common peoples' complaints. [ He smirks, making little move to allow him in from the hall, until he brings a hand to his chin, rubbing against the scruff on his jaw with a mock-pensiveness. ]
Say, while you're about, mayhaps you could help me with another concern. You see, my bed's been looking rather plain without decoration upon it as of late. [ He pauses with eyebrows raise, innocently inquisitive. ] The walls as well. And the floor. And the bath.
[ Really, so much interior decorating is needed, it's a tragedy. It needs a princely touch. ]
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It would not do to send one of the grubby, considerably less handsome castle guards to deliver the message in my place. I should think you would not wish to be subjected to such horror.
[ Still grinning, Hal makes his way inside and inspects the place. He certainly agrees that it could use some decorating. A ... princely touch, perhaps. ]
Dear me, what a dreadfully dull place this is, indeed. [ Hands on his hips, he sighs, standing right in the middle of the room and turning to glance at the huntsman over his shoulder. ] Where shall I even begin?
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[ He pivots, moving Hal with him, to mock-scan the room with a thoughtful hum. There's a moment of totally deep contemplation before he gives up and bends to sweep Hal completely off his feet, lifting him up bridal style and begins to spin, pretty much planning on just wandering around the room like this until they find a good spot. ] Tell me when to stop. Preferably before I get dizzy and collapse us both.
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It's a rather embarrassing yelp he lets out as he's so quickly lifted up, but it fades to a round of startled giggles as his arms wrap around the huntsman's shoulders. He holds on seemingly for dear life as he's spun around, laughing all the while even as he scolds the man for surprising him so. ] Fiendish man, you must stop! Or we shall tumble and create a lovely shaped hole in the walls or floors where we land. Stop!
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[ And with that, he places Hal down to his feet once more, just in front of the wall, his back facing the Huntsman, and wide, calloused hands slide over lightly toned shoulders, down Hal's elegantly slim arms while Eric presses light kisses along the back of his neck, the juncture of his shoulders. When his hands clasp around the backs of the prince's, the Huntsman pulls them up, remembering how he loves to stare at them, feel them, admire the beautiful, long fingers, and he places them firmly against the surface of the wall. ] Allow me to help in your decoration. [ He mumbles against his ear, strands of blond tickling his lips, and there's a leg wedging between Hal's naked thighs, a foot pushing at the inside of his ankles, urging him to spread. ]
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He's still laughing as he's brought back down, stumbling only once due to his dizzy feeling and hints of inebriation, but the huntsman has such a protective hold on him that Hal knows he won't fall to the floor. He does sway a bit as he's guided to the wall, arching back against the huntsman behind him to be a bit of a tease, hands up and against the wall where the huntsman places them. It's with a curious grin that he glances over his shoulder, moving his legs further apart as prompted while bracing himself against the wall. ] Mm ... is this to your liking, huntsman?
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[ Letting his lips drift back to Hal's neck, he kisses and nips along it until reaching the smooth, curved indent of his spine, prominent with the graceful arch of Hal's back, and trails his tongue, slowly tracing, down the path it makes - between shoulder blades to the small of his back. A palm flat against Hal's chest mimics the pattern in gliding down his chest, over his stomach. And as he goes lower, to not stopping at his hips and he traces towards the tip of his tail bone, Eric drops to his knees, one hand settled on a hip as the other caressed and kneeds at the firm flesh of his ass. He trails kisses peppered with bites and sucks up red marks on the sensitive skin of his backside while a thumb slips between the crevice, trailing down to circle lightly at his entrance. ]
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It's a bit difficult to crane his neck enough to watch, but Hal tries his best, not wanting to miss a moment of the sight. Chills travel up his spine following each kiss from the huntsman, his own hands curling against the wall as if he could grip it. The kisses lower, and the red flush rises to his face, the huntsman now on his knees behind him. No one's ever been so fond of his backside so the sensations still take some getting used to, but he trusts the huntsman, and craves his touch. His legs inch apart just a little further, soft whimpers pleading both stop embarrassing me and oh God, don't ever stop as hands join lips and teeth in caresses, shivering in need when one reaches his most private place. ]
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He's not really done this before, but he doesn't consider it that complicated of a process, but he wants to touch and feel and taste every soft inch of Hal, have him come unwound under his fingers and produce beautiful little sounds. The tip of his tongue comes to circle lightly around the quivering hole, before pushing barely in, a slow pressure, just so. Teasing, even. ]
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It was ... different, without a doubt. It surprised him, a startled "oh-!" leaving him at the first trace of tongue ... there. He'd turned his head to face the wall, embarrassingly bright red, forehead against the wall as his voice shook and trembled alongside his cries and pleas. He tries to refrain from thrusting his hips back, though the sweet hot and tingling sensation is difficult to let pass by. When the tip pushes inside, Hal groans, hips jerking, hands near clawing at the wall in front of him. ] O-Oh ... huntsman--...
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A firm hand holds his hips in place, not letting Hal get too much more than he wishes him to yet, and he slowly removes his tongue to swirl teasingly around the trembling flesh and spends a few moments languidly tasting at him, dipping in slightly at each thrust of his tongue and withdrawing again to suck and kiss and knead at the surrounding flushed skin. And after a few minutes of taking his sweet time, he finally brings a finger, wet from his own mouth, to spread him, pushed in just to the first knuckle, and he spears his tongue in a firm thrust as deep as he can, hands pulling at Hal's hips to bring him closer while he fucks him with his mouth and finger. ]
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Hal's not sure how much longer he can last like this. His inexperience shows in just how quickly he unravels, just like their first time together, but the young prince tries his best to hold out. It wouldn't be fair. But the huntsman doesn't stop or give him room to breathe even, so all he can do is try to hold onto the wall to keep from collapsing, try to keep his embarrassing whimpers to a minimum, and plead for the huntsman to please, please-- well, anything. ]
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[ A hand fiddles in his pocket to produce a small vial of oil, which he reaches in front of Hal to pour out over a hand, smoothing it across his fingers as he hums a quiet, nonsensical song against the warmed flesh of his throat, perfectly pleased with life for the moment. ]
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But all the same, despite his breathlessness and shaking knees, he smiles. ] Eric ...
[ He likes it. He purrs softly as he presses back against the other, encouraging, not far from pleading. ] Mmm, Eric ... Eric ...
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[ The coated fingers move back behind Hal again and he sets to stretching him, as the huntsman's concern was always to make sure never to bring hurt or discomfort to his adored Hal. Two fingers push gently in, curling and scissoring and his other hand works at his trousers, pulling laces loose as he crowds close and intimate against the man before him, nose pressing lovingly against his neck, nuzzling even. As much as he may be invested in getting off the best they can, sex with Hal would never be without the deep well of feeling he held for the man, the way he treasured him and this trust and love and passion allotted between them. ]
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... well, no, but maybe something less forward. Something like, I really enjoy your company, my dear Eric.
... no, that sounded terrible.
I care about you more than anything in this world or the next?
He'll think about it.
After, of course. After Hal is done whimpering rather pitifully as Eric breaches him with two fingers, the stretch and burn uncomfortable at first. But he'd come to learn that it was supposed to be like that, that his body would eventually adjust. All he has to do is wait, and relax. So he does, panting out Eric's name against the wall, as doing so brings him comfort. He trembles as he reaches back, one hand seeking out Eric's to gently wrap around his wrist, moving with him as the huntsman's fingers push further inside. Curious, his own fingertips move too, along Eric's so he could feel as the huntsman's enter him. Strange sensation, perhaps, but it excites him in a way he never knew. ]
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After thinking him thoroughly stretched, Eric eases his fingers from him little by little, and once they're free, makes hurried work of stripping his clothes from his person. He had originally been thinking he'd just slide into him still clothed, something so appealing about Hal completely bare while he stayed covered, but he finds a much greater need to feel their skin against each others' - feel the smooth slide of hot, sweat slicked skin on skin, feel Hal's heart beating fast and hard against his chest. Once bare, he pulls at Hal's shoulders to turn him and is quick to push his back up to the wall, pressing himself flush against him, sandwiching Hal between himself and the wood panels. A pleasured sigh falls from him as eyes close for a moment, just contented at the familiar press of Hal against him, their hardened lengths sliding against each other any moment they shift.
A hand buries into his hair and Eric takes his mouth with a sort of passion and dominance that wishes to claim all of him for himself, every inch of him, every quirk of his lips, every whimper, ever lilted laugh - every cheerful moment of joy, every private moment of insecurity. Every part of him. ]
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Waiting for the huntsman to finish undressing feels like an eternity. Not that he's slow, of course not, but the lack of touch and sensation is frustrating to the point of whimpering, fighting the temptation to just start rutting against the wall to ease some of the tension. He turns his head enough so he can watch Eric hurriedly undress, desire heavy in his eyes, aroused to the point where he feels dizzy when Eric turns him around against the wall. He gasps at the sudden friction between them when Eric moves back in, and Hal's arms lift to wind tight around the huntsman's shoulders, moaning shamelessly as their next kiss is passionate, deep that he feels it reaches his very soul. How the man manages to do it, he will never know. ]
Eric ... [ the name is whispered against his lips, a hand reaching up into the huntsman's hair, and Hal feels bold enough to lift one leg, hooking over Eric's hip. ] Oh, please ...
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A deep groan, near on a growl, rolls in response to the desire apparent in his eyes, on his lips, and the sweet moan Hal releases so close to his ears. It stimulates something primal and yearning in him, suddenly feeling not nearly close enough to the man, not nearly enough touching between them. The one leg around around him just has him wanting more, so swiftly after, he's wrapping hands under Hal's buttocks and lifting him up from the floor, back braced against the wall while the other leg is pushed to wrap around his lips. He adjusts underneath him and a hand around his cock moves to drag the head of it along the spread crevice of the incredible ass held so closely to him, fingers kneading and groping the supple flesh. He pants at the contact, precum and oil slicking the friction as he pushes against his entrance, just barely pressing inside. ]
Ahh, Hal... [ He bows his head, breathing heavily with forehead against his prince's collarbone. He'd like to tell him his body is a beautiful place to be but can't seem to find the breath or presence of mind to, only licking along the hollow of his throat by means of communication ]
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Don't-- [ He pauses, biting his lip. Hearing his own name like that would have his knees failing him if he wasn't already held up so securely. Hal marvels the huntsman's strength, loses himself in his voice, and notes to apologize later for leaving so many nail marks along his skin as he is slowly, carefully breached, his legs around Eric's waist winding tighter. He's still new to this, it's still uncomfortable at first just as before, but he has more than enough trust placed in Eric. He's just ... cautious. The wall is something new, after all. As it always is. ] ... don't let me fall.
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His breath leaves in heavy pains, the tight warmth of Hal's body easily encasing him and holding him close and intimate in their joining, both the feel of him and the thought of being so intensely close, so personal in a manner none else are allowed to Hal, having his eyes squeeze tightly shut as he concentrates on just trying to be still in him. The nails at his skin pull a pleased hiss that flows into a moan, loving how he can feel just what this does to his lover. He laughs, stuttered and quiet, against a collarbone, before he raises his eyes to meet Hal's, reassurance and love there. ] Ease your worries. I have you.
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Mm ... you have me. [ Hal tries his best to will his body to relax, allowing Eric entrance despite the burn and stretch that was almost to the point of unbearable. Breathing deep, toes curling behind the huntsman's back, the prince flashes a brief smile as their eyes meet, before he lowers his head to Eric's shoulder, taking the moment to adjust, to breathe in everything that was the other man all around him. He truly does have him, Hal thinks. Eric has all of him, his everything. ] You can- nngh ... move, now. Please.
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Please, he says, and that alone sends a shudder through him before Eric begins the slow slide out of him, almost completely free save for the head, hands on Hal's hips holding him aloft, and in a smooth, firm thrust, pushing deep back into Hal's tight warmth, a stuttered ahh pulling from him that morphs into a moan as he sets an even pace, lifting Hal as he slides out and pulling him flush back onto him, sinking into him to the hilt and it's all sensation and ecstasy, Hal's name a gasped moan on his lips like a reverently muttered prayer. ]
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He supposes a few pained noises at the start are understandable, as best he tries to keep them in. Hal doesn't want Eric to grow concerned or worse, stop. But he remembers words of advice from before, and he leaves one arm around the huntsman's shoulders, holding on tight as his now free hand slips between their bodies, the prince's breath caught in his throat as familiar fingers wrap around himself, light strokes to ease the edge off and distract himself from discomfort. It helps - and quickly enough, Hal makes feeble attempts to rock his hips together with Eric's, little motions but that combined with his hand around himself and Eric moving so hot and deep inside him, are just enough that discomfort is soon forgotten about. ]
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You have- ahh- no idea how incredible it feels... inside you, Hal. [ Gasped hotly against Hal's ear, a rushed whisper interspersed with moans and soft noises of pleasure, breath hitching occasionally when he they come together just right now and then in a way that sends his senses spinning, eyes squeezed tight. He pauses, letting out a low groan, and the last sentence comes in a breathy exhale. ] It's as if you were made for me.
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The pace increases, and just holding on with one arm isn't good enough anymore, so rather reluctantly his hand leaves from between them and lifts to join the other around Eric's shoulders to hold on tighter. They're moving faster together, and the gentle rubbing up against the huntsman's abdomen adds the friction that had been missing from his hand. Eric's voice in his ear is the finishing touch, really, warm and passionate and sweet to him. And yet-- the subject matter, prince being a silly as he is, he laughs, breathlessly so. ]
I don't-- suppose I ever shall ... [ not quite that flexible, y'see. ] But perhaps ... 'tis true. For if I've no other purpose, it- ... it is to be yours.