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amusebox2012-10-26 01:09 am
godofshawarma) wrote in amusebox2012-10-26 01:09 am
Entry tags:
Thorki - The Adventures of Pantsless Loki and the Avengers [nsfw]
Fandom: MCU
Pairing: Thorki
Category: Sort of fic thing
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Incest, dirty talk shouted through Avengers Tower
Summary: How domesticating Loki to Avengers Tower turns out for the worst for everyone but Thor.
The palace arrest Loki had been placed under had, of course, been short lived. It’s not an easy feat to place an enchantment on the god of mischief he can’t slither his way out of and Thor soon found himself chasing the man all throughout Asgard and dragging him back by his ankle if he had to. Eventually, Thor came to the plan of just fucking him so soundly he couldn’t manage to walk his way out of the palace for the new day or so, but Loki’s stamina was not a thing to be trifled with and even that became exhausting after a while. The idea was at long last conceived that a binding spell should be cast on the two, dictating that Loki couldn’t wander outside of a certain range of Thor, and thus was how the trickster ended up taking up residence in Avenger tower, much to many of the team’s unhappiness, alongside the thunderer.
At first, he was pleasant and kept mostly to himself, suspiciously so, and it set everyone on edge. It’s never good when Loki is quiet and it’s never, ever, good when Loki is pleasant. This is when the complaints started. A team member would pull Thor aside, make sure to be outside of Loki’s hearing range (they suspected) and inform Thor just how disturbing it is to have him around and how they’re certain he’s going to do something strange and terrible and how this is a problem he needs to fix, and Thor would be so very conflicted, because while he’d noted his brother’s strange behavior, he had yet to actually do anything.
Eventually, note started to appear.
Taped to the fridge, sticky’d to the TV remote, placed on a door, on the face of a clock, all with various, none too flattering tidbits of information on the other towermates.
“Black Widow and the Bird have a kink for pegging.”
“The Green Beast has a suspicious subscription to Good Housekeeping.”
“Captain prefers briefs - tight white ones. They aren’t very becoming.”
“Stark hides the best scotch in the 47th floor lab.”
“The Spider Child peeked on Black Widow whilst bathing.”
“The Bird practices dramatic bow poses in front of the mirror nightly.”
“Thor does not clean his hair from the shower drain.”
“Both Mr. Rogers and Dr. Banner knit.”
There was outrage and Thor ended up with a small pile of these notes in his hand one evening, as the Avengers assembled to point out that the rumors were on everyone within the tower save for one grinning tricksters currently sat in front of the TV watching Oprah intently. The demanded a stop be put to it, and so Thor had thought it over for a very long time and came to sit next to Loki an hour or so later to issue the threat to inform the rest of the household in great detail of the first hundred or so years that Loki had bed-wetting issues and dragged a binky with him to the breakfast table every more. The notes stopped shortly after.
What started, however, was a different manner of TMI in the form of late night (and some midday, and some evening and some early morning (Asgardian stamina is a funny thing)) explicit, shouted, running commentary on the Aesir brothers’ sex life. Though greatly included, it wasn’t limited to loud moans, cries of pleasure and screams of Thor’s name - there was also, of course, the given ’yes, Thor, yes’, ‘harder, Thor’, ‘faster, Thor’, ‘make me scream, Thor’, but as it went on, detail would be added, such as ’let me come, Thor’ ‘suck me, Thor’ ‘bend me over the couch, Thor’ ‘tighten the binds, Thor’ all becoming more and more specific until near on monologues were given, such as ’pound me like that time you hoisted me over Stark’s lab table in assless chaps until I’m begging you to let me come, and then pick me up and brace me against a wall while you slam your hard length into me so intensely I see stars exploding behind my eyelids. After, I want your tongue to touch every inch of my body until I’m writhing beneath you, then chain me to the bedpost and plow me into the mattress a second time.’
Suffice to say, Thor and Loki were both banned from Tony’s labs thereafter.
Along with that, notes with merely a large X began springing up - on kitchen counters, on the couch, on lab tables and it quickly became apparent what they meant - places Loki had been. With Thor. Apparently he took the forbidding of sharing intimate details of the other tower mates to mean he could share intimate details of himself as much as he pleased and they should have nothing to complain about.
One morning, after this had become too much for the other tenants to bare, Thor would discover six pieces of paper slipped below his bedroom door all with the same message scrawled across them: “GAG HIM.” And a demand was made for the Xs to be removed and never seen again.
Thankfully, Thor was able to threaten gagging (as Loki did nothing but laugh at the threat to withhold sex) until the sexual prose over-sharing came to a stop, but it did nothing for Loki’s new means of dress about the Avengers Tower living quarters - a problem that persisted the longest of all.
Once the winter had passed and weather became warmer, Loki would be spotted wandering wherever he pleased around the tower in Thor’s flannel shirts. And very little else, save for the occasional pair of socks. There was an immediate uproar to this by all except Steve Rogers who would merely blush six shades of red and walk right back out of any room he entered with Loki and his state of pantslessness present in.
The only one not particularly bothered by this development was Natasha, who would simply wander into the kitchen in the morning, where Thor sat at the table in his bathrobe, coffee and poptart plate nearby as he read the Sunday morning funnies (as if he would actually read any other piece of the newspaper) and Loki at the counter pouring out coffee into mugs with another of Thor’s shirts on that barely did enough to cover his ass. It made no difference to the assassin, as she would wander in clad in nothing up a bra and panties, rollers still in her hair as she hummed a quiet tune on her way to fetch coffee.
“Take the last cup and I’ll tell your brother about the grossest STDs I can think of until he’s so traumatized he can’t get it up for the rest of the week.”
Loki cocked an eyebrow at the threat, aloof as ever. “Clearly you underestimate my brother’s libido.”
“Do I? Hm.” She turned, hands on hips, to speak to said brother. “Hey, Thor, have you ever heard of gonorrhea?”
It was then that the mug Loki had filled was shoved into Natasha’s well manicured hands, a slitted glare in his eyes.
“Wicked woman.”
A victorious smirk, she plucked it from his hand and went to make eggs. “Thank you for your cooperation.”
“Brother! Look here!” Thor would exclaim, holding up the latest Peanuts strip for Loki’s viewing pleasure. “The bald child falls for the sporting trick yet again. The girl Lucy reminds me of you.”
“Enchanting.”
Days turned to weeks and weeks to a month and still Loki’s insistence on pantslessness went undeterred, all demands for it to be amended that were kindly spoken or alternatively yelled at Thor were in one way or another sidestepped, as honestly, this was not nearly as much of an issue in the golden son of Asgard’s eyes as it was the rest of the tower.
“Make. Him. Put. Pants. On.” Tony Stark ground out one afternoon as he and Thor sat on the couch, watching a documentary on sea turtles (Thor was a big fan of Animal Planet) while his dark haired brother paced around the room, rearranging his small but growing library on one of the bookshelves, seemingly paying no heed to the other two, and of course, completely without trousers or anything to cover him from midway down his ass beyond.
“It is a difficult task you ask, metal man.” Thor murmured even as his eyes slide to his brother’s form, watching as long, slender legs traveled across the room. “You see, he’s taken to tossing the pants he was given out of the bedroom window, and I cannot very well take him to purchase more in such a state of undress.”
He didn’t catch the incredulous stare Tony was offering him.
“I am as much a victim as any of us.” Spoken while he leaned over the back of the couch to get a generous view of Loki bending to pick up a dropped pencil.
Eventually, the tower came to just settle with the fact that this particular torment wouldn’t be resolved and they all - well all but Steve Rogers - would accept that the sight of Loki’s ass would come to be just as familiar as his face. Things were calm for a while, with only the occasional incident.
One day, the team would come back from a mission to find that a particular pornography feature was set to play on the living room TV, as well as each conference room flat screen, entitled ‘The Assvengers’. The next day, they would find screencaps of the film uploaded as their mobile phone backgrounds. Steve Rogers would have to employ help to figure out how to have his removed.
But it soon became apparent, once a mission called for scientific assistance from the good Jane Foster, that visitors had come to be one of the worst experiences, as the team would be introduced to the vicious streak of jealousy the half-nude once-king prince of Asgard was capable of if he felt his claim to his brother was threatened. Now, this claim was very well know from back when the intimate dialogue of Thor and Loki’s bedroom was being proclaimed for all the tower to hear, as things like ’you’re mine, you’ve always been mine’ had been shared before, but Loki had always had little worry about the Avengers themselves. It was those mortals he knew Thor held so close to his heart, and even though Thor had put a great effort towards concealing the excitement of meeting with Jane again, it wouldn’t get past Loki - he knew him too well.
When she arrived, the sorcerer was sure to be present, preening in a corner, but also closely resembling an angry cat with how he stared. It wasn’t long before offhand, mocking comments were dropped here and there as he passed about pathetic damsels wanting to swoon and be the virginal Earth princesses to gods so far above them. It soon escalated to something like a catty, verbal, cat fight, as Jane didn’t fear Loki as he’d like her to and could deal back what she was given just as well. Thor stood between them, certain something terrible was about to erupt.
And so it did when Loki tossed in something snide along the lines of ‘it’s too bad you don’t know magic to put your vagina back into shape after he left you’.
For which Jane punched him.
And then Loki had to be removed from the room.
Even tossed over his brother’s shoulder, he spat vicious and petty insults, the last of which, before the door swung shut behind him being, ‘AND YOU LOOK FAT IN THOSE PANTS’.
As silence hung in the room after their retreat, each of the Avengers present exchanged bewildered looks, Jane still quietly fuming, before Tony and Clint broke out into laughter.
It would be a long time until Loki was allowed out of his room while guests were present and many text messages assuring Jane she looked lovely in anything she wore before she’d consent to returning to the Avengers Tower labs.
Such was how the Avengers came to grow accustom to their not so heroic addition, and perhaps even accept him as a permanent facet. Natasha and Loki would develop a ritual of watching horror movie marathons and mocking the stupidity of both the victims and the killers while JARVIS and the fallen Asgard prince would play a sort of six degrees of separation game with popular, classical literature and philosophical topics. Stark and Loki came to a certain kind of game with naming each others’ clinically labeled psychological maladjustments.
“Nymphomaniac.”
“That’s practically handed to you. A single point with the promise you’ll try harder.”
“Just covering bases. Hedonist.”
“Narcissist.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Just covering bases.”
“Parental abandonment issues.”
“The same to you.”
“There’s a difference between ‘daddy never told me he loved me’ and ‘daddy left me out in the frigid wilderness for the dire wolves to eat’.”
Occasionally these contests would escalate to a point in which Loki might attempt to scratch Tony’s eyes from his face, at which point, he’d be confined to a room by himself via JARVIS’s intervention and the avid deadbolting of doors.
Thus, with only a handful of destroyed walls and furniture, some explicit over-sharing that may have required Steve Rogers to undergo therapy, and the occasional bomb plot here or there, Avengers Tower got along with its addition, and the world of superheroism was at peace. Or as much peace as would be allowed until the next time a new villain thought it a good idea to attempt to attack the Avengers where they live, only to discover a very angry, very violent trickster willing to flay anyone alive who dared to interrupt Whose Line Is It Anyway.
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