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Jack/Joseph in CDCverse
May. 14th, 2014 04:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cicatrize[ Ajna was a bitch and a half. A cold bitch and a half, but still, still, when he hears the others rattling on about when do we go home and what do they miss, Jack's feelings on it are utterly void. He doesn't miss home. He'll never miss home. Not anymore. There's nothing left for him there, and the tablet settled in his lap, as he sits in one of the dining hall booths, is testament enough to that.
The month on mission settled a lot for him. For one, there are a good few who know the secret he would have killed people over back home, and care absolutely nothing about it. He's just normal, not diminished, not disgraced, not unfit, and what he wouldn't have given to have that back home. No one cares that he's a prince, and while that aggravates him on most levels, on those more subtle, uncommented on ones, it's freeing. And he's learned there's worse things to have lost, after spending time with the man sharing his face. Barnes. That doesn't make him any more willing to take the trip home, but it sets perspective.
Something he thinks on as he pulls one leg up on the bench edge, tucked against his shoulder, and watches the lips move on the face on the screen, sound muted. Joseph. If he'd been as comfortable in his own skin as he is here back then, Joseph wouldn't be six feet under. If he'd realized, then, that Silas was never planning on giving him what he wanted, regardless of what he did to appease him, Joseph wouldn't have made this video. Wouldn't have followed it up with an action Jack feels he can hardly blame him for, after what he'd been put through. After all that Jack had done to him. A hand reaches forward, pausing the feed on a sad smile for a moment, before Jack reaches into his jacket, pulling out the flask he'd filled on mission. About that time again, drowning out guilt and regrets with the first substance or venue of venting he can find. He's been doing a lot of that here. Funny how these things catch up with you, once you stop running from them. ]
The month on mission settled a lot for him. For one, there are a good few who know the secret he would have killed people over back home, and care absolutely nothing about it. He's just normal, not diminished, not disgraced, not unfit, and what he wouldn't have given to have that back home. No one cares that he's a prince, and while that aggravates him on most levels, on those more subtle, uncommented on ones, it's freeing. And he's learned there's worse things to have lost, after spending time with the man sharing his face. Barnes. That doesn't make him any more willing to take the trip home, but it sets perspective.
Something he thinks on as he pulls one leg up on the bench edge, tucked against his shoulder, and watches the lips move on the face on the screen, sound muted. Joseph. If he'd been as comfortable in his own skin as he is here back then, Joseph wouldn't be six feet under. If he'd realized, then, that Silas was never planning on giving him what he wanted, regardless of what he did to appease him, Joseph wouldn't have made this video. Wouldn't have followed it up with an action Jack feels he can hardly blame him for, after what he'd been put through. After all that Jack had done to him. A hand reaches forward, pausing the feed on a sad smile for a moment, before Jack reaches into his jacket, pulling out the flask he'd filled on mission. About that time again, drowning out guilt and regrets with the first substance or venue of venting he can find. He's been doing a lot of that here. Funny how these things catch up with you, once you stop running from them. ]